ello,my name is joshua.i carry an ectoplasmic look during class,my friends call it dao-ness.it's actually called a face.if ur grades sux,then we have alot in common. school:tampenis put on diapers at 2/3/1994 wants: a miracle to happen.good grades(who am kidding)

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

ahhahaha wtf long time no update!!~ so here u go.



tumble into my tumblr at www.rebelliousallegiance.tumblr.com

yeah. im part of the "cool" people now.



hello people. at this point of time, i am already acclimatised to poly life and have a vague sense of direction around the school, to say the least. aaaaanyway, i've been feeling listless.

i think its because of the whole "what am i supposed to do in life" internal conflict again. but really, what am i supposed to do in life? i give myself another...60 more years. then im dead.

and the thing that's really bugging me is that probably nothing is going to change even after that.

everyone that i know is going to carry on with their lives, probably living off their remaining cpf and watching their grandchildren all grown up. my life is just going to be another walk in the beach, and any remaining traces or footprints of it, washed away by the shore waves. and maybe occasionally i'll get to watch some beautiful sunset pass me by.

im not being "emo" just so you know, which you probably dont. it's just really whats on my mind. it's easier for you to understand if you just think to youself, if anything changes after you're gone. is MacDonald franchise going to close? is koi going to fold? is school going to stop? doubt it.

is someone going to stand on some global podium and tell the world the life you led? tell the world how you met your best friend?
how you and your friends stole from a convenience store?
how you mugged halfheartedly with your friends for o levels?
how you felt when you received your o'level cert?
or how you met the love of your life?

nope, all that disappears with you. there's no permanent legacy, no huge memorial and no change. global warming doesn't stop, neither does the earth's rotation. and probably, your great grandchildren wont know who you are.

i think, i just want to be remembered. i dont want to disappear like everything and everyone else biodegradable. i want to make a change, but i know that's not going to happen.

yeah you might probably read this and scoff at my unconventional train of thoughts, but think about it, u have any idea who your great great grandfather is? does he matter to you? honestly no. you dont know the guy. whatever. that's how your great great grandchildren is going to think.

yea sometimes i wish i didnt have to think so pessimistically and have such a morbid way of thinking but i cant help it. well, dont judge me for it asshole.

well obviously i dont walk around school looking like i want to cry,

but sometimes it's not what i dont feel, it's what i dont show.

geez, nighty night people.

throw out a float and i'll scramble desperately for it,
cus my life jacket aint working anymore



okay,
first of all, im stuck in an all girls group and that really sucks for me cus its awkward all the time and they are pretty much not pretty.

second of all, one of them called Joanne is especially not pretty because she bosses me around like shes the shit.

third of all, her banana face is so concave u can play hot wheels cars on it all day long..

im telling you, the only good thing about my class is the guys,they are all really nice, there's this guy in particular, his name is clement. he might pass off as a regular "too friendly" kinda guy that just wants ta make tons of friends, but there's something so genuinely nice about him that you just know its not an act.

then there's this other guy, cleon. funny as hell, and we get along really well, like peanut butter and jam, bread and butter, and like my fist against Joannes face. that's how well we get along, but i guess i deserve this much, for having such fucked up primary school mates(i'd use "friends" but that term is incorrect) that practically took away the childhood that every adolescent should have. im kinda glad for it though, made me grow up faster.

oh but here's the thing, we wanna grow up so fast,that what we don't realise is that when we grow up, we'd give the world to turn back time. it's true. its already happening for me. Dammit peter pan where the hell are you?

anyhoo..um, my class is relatively easy to get along with, but how close i'll ever be with them, i really dont know. let's just wait and see. i'd love to regale you with my insulting humour and messed up life experiences, but i have to go study accounting for assets now.

"its not a mistake if i dont regret it"



before you do anything, sit down shut up and listen. Now, i want you to remember your resolve, what ever the hell it was and get back that resolve. that feeling in your heart when you said, " im gonna do it". well simply because your gonna need it. people, school has officially started, for jc's and poly's. i've got 4 stacks of untouched lecture notes, fuck it.

i'd expect that by now, most of your resolve has disappeared when school politics started. ooo, this girl that guy kinda shit happens again.

yeah, get your head outta your ass and get the shit outta your head, cus we dont have time for that. other people dont matter, always keep in mind the most important thing that i will have to tell you,

you're the most important person in your life. not the fucker who promises you the moon, or the bitch that shit talks you. not even your best friend who pays for your food or gambles with you or plays lan with you. nope. its just you. why? nononono...why not?

yes yes, i know its really annoying when life gets you down, and you have to keep getting back up on your feet. its exhausting even. but you dont ask why, you just do it, because if you dont, and i say this with sincerity in my voice, hands on your shoulders and eyes looking square at yours, when i say that if you dont, you are fucking dead.

well, after all thats what life is all about isnt it? trying. trying to get to a good secondary school, trying to get into a good poly/jc , trying to get into a good university, trying to get a good job,house,wife,car, then trying to please your boss.

oh yes, sickens me to the core, like someone jerking a fishing hook out of my gut.

here's a little economics, we face SCARCITY when we have unlimited wants and limited resources, hence, we have to make a CHOICE. when that happens we give up the next best alternative by making a choice. when you do that, this is called OPPORTUNITY COST. and well,if you take a step back and look at the things we've given up as opportunities, you realise most of them add up to something called LIFE.

the last bit's not economics, but its true, so lock it up in your 4 inch steel vault of thought, because thats the truth.

so imma leave this bit for you to chew on before i go to bed at.....3.02.

"the trick to living life is not in trying hard, it's in doing the exact opposite."
-joshua choo



heyo,havent updated for awhile...yeah. uh, these couple'o days have been a flurry of running, cycling, fun shioning, durian eating, and a whole lot of other stuff that i cant call to mind right now. oh and lets not forget my nyp orientation camp. got some chio bu's la, dunnow why now see chio bu oso like... numb already. bo feel leh.

well poly is seriously starting soon, and im seriously not looking forward to it. eh fuck. brand new start i guess? haha, thats what i keep telling myself

i know i've made some mistakes in the past, some of which are beyond rectification, most of which i dont regret at all, and none of which are in the grey areas. who says making a mistake means u have to regret it? i say suck it in bitches, and make as many as you can.

life is about making mistakes, death is about wishing u made a whole lot more.

so make as many as you can before the grim reaper comes with that big menacing scythe and claims your soul. rebellion is a healthy part of growing up. although some people consider healthy rebellion an oxymoron, well those people are simply morons.

due to some recent developments, i appear to have discovered that i have an apparent fear for masks. both literal and metaphorical sense.i mean i'm freaked out by clowns,sort of. and other mask adorning characters.

know why? cus you dont know whats behind those masks. im not afraid of the mask, im afraid of what i dont know. just like how people arent afraid of the dark, merely the unknown. more often then not, we can only think we know what we know.

digression here, but sadly the truth is something very hard to come by these days. so if one day, u find it, make sure u grasp it, keep it, and never let it go. in fact, lock the fucking thing in a 1 feet steel vault with a microchip encryption.

its....5:08 now, sorry for the short post, i'll write a longer one tomorrow or something. since i know you guys r just dying for my philosophical and very much twisted knowledge.





for what i had, have and always cherish