ello,my name is joshua.i carry an ectoplasmic look during class,my friends call it dao-ness.it's actually called a face.if ur grades sux,then we have alot in common. school:tampenis put on diapers at 2/3/1994 wants: a miracle to happen.good grades(who am kidding)

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

yo.the weeks been a flurry of activities,thoughts,emotions and yadda yadda yadda.oh btw,no poems this post so u can rest assured i spared u the agony of making ur heart retch.uhh....i cant rmb wad happened on monday.i rmbered i had food poisoning on tuesday,so dint come school on wednesday,although i was already relatively cured by then.received some super belated presents, but super awesome nonetheless,thanks.thurs i was in schl again(yeah u have to put up with my face again,deal with it),which,incidentally was aizans bday to.heck i dint know,so i just decided to give her 16$$ for her 16 birthday.okay this happened for reasons,firstly cus its her bday and i dint get her anything,secondly cus she was crying and i wanted to see her cry more.tears of joy that is.ANYWAY,lucky she rejected my "gift" cus i was planning on saving that 16 bucks.eh its the thought that counts anyway,s'long as she knows i'm sincere can liao.fri,pack here and there,last day in the godforsaken school with only 2 fans in class,so took pictures here and there too.yeah,then uh..lanned aftr schl.and i dont know why,but i had a fucking bad mood today.really pissed.wad made me even more pissed was that i dint know what i'm pissed about.


OKAY!boring parts over,now here comes the MORE boring part.u are about to become smarter,because im about to impart some knowledge about life unto you.and by knowledge about life i dont mean having sex and making babies,no.im just gonna tell u the most meaningful things i have ever heard or thought of.

only one thing about change remains constant.its that it is always painful,and always happening.

add love to any equation,and the boundries between right and wrong are bound to disappear.

forget what you're told,before you become too old.

ur feelings only hurt if you let it.

and lastly,not the most meaningful,but my favourite because it's sure as hell the most fucking true

everyone lies.


yeah,feel enlightened?

ahh....i never thought i'd say this,but i dont like my life right now,its too messy.i mean, i like messy,its less restricting,flexible,you dont have a care in the world,and you can put ur things anywhere and anyway u like them.but when it becomes too messy,you cant find ur things,hell,you dont even know what they are anymore.dont know what to do.fuck.i dont like not knowing what to do.

ohkay,um....here's what's going on in my head.literally,ur about to see whats going on in my mind.all the random thoughts and all..

******"i'm 16 this year.....why dont i fel 16?feel like i'm dreaming.tired.i wanna run later.haisss......FUCK LA!FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!.this is frustrating....*another voice asks,"what is frustrating?"...*i reply,fuck you,i dont FUCKING KNOW!*then...the thing thats running thru my head is...."i wonder what happens if mis idzhana is reading this.does she read blogs anyway?wonder if it'll sour her impression.ah who cares!?i've got more things to wory about.likee figuring out what's making me so frustrated.i wanna read chinese newspaper later,improve my chinese.i've got tuition next friday,as wel as the school soft launch.how?go for which ah?will the school accept parent letter?hmm....i need to put more new songs in my phone.the weather is fucking hot,duno whether later should on air-con anot.should i eat later?what should i even eat?i'm kinda hungry.*cracks all my knuckles and joints,including neck,elbow,knee,toes.i should stop doing that,people say its bad to crack joints.why though?makes me feel good,can release stress.i feel like puching the wall,because i spoke about releasing stress,punching the wall is one good way.yeah.budden,what am i stressed about?i still dont fucking know.its like......i swear i can feel my mind just keep thinking and thinking and thinking.i have no idea why.but at around 2 am in the morning the thinking finally stops,when the lights are all off and my whole family is asleep.duno why either.can just lay in bed and relax.ohkay,now its really fucking hot.i think i'm gonna on the aircon later.i need to start studying,because i feel guilty that i'm not.i'll mess up my future at this rate,just like my bro.i dont want to mess it up.FUCK.but then...do i even have a future?i wanna be a journalist or smth to do with writing and i want to make lotsa money.is it a posible prospect?its not easy to get recognition in those circles.haha,circles,my mind is going around in circles.josh,get a grip,get a fucking grip.*okay okay.sometimes i really like that other voice in my head,it feels like i got someone to talk to.helps me to organise my thoughts to.well,its not reaally another voice.its me.talking to myself in a 3rd person perspective.i'm talking to myself.am i going mad?is this what mad people go through?but then again,if i was mad would i be asking myself this question in the first place?what goes on in mad people's head and minds?do they tell themselves this is just the way they think,that they're not mad?ah,my bloody sister's talking on the phone,noisy as hell.the way she talks on the phone is just so...eee...unnatural.mayb its her boyfriend.but eh,ho would have such weird taste?but mayb she's not that bad looking,mayb its just that i;ve been looking at her face for the past 16 years so im sick of it.i dont know.....i dont even know what i dont know anymore.FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!hais.feeling like the thoughts in my head now is less.....dense.feel a little lighter."******

u see?now imagine all those thoughts,in like a minute.thats alot of things i'm thinking of.eh well.i think i really shall run now.bye.



at first glance u see a person,its a blurred perception,

after knowing 'er awhile u realise its just a misconception.

i look at the people around me with a heavy heart

and i realise we're nothing but far apart.

its just the same people interposing,

in groups of different gatherings.

they bitch about,here and there

without realising they're getting nowhere.

how i wish i could turn time around,

and send them fifty feet underground.

and just when i'm starting to feel all hope is lost

old friends gather and i feel there's ppl i still can trust.

we go all out and have a game of pool

even though some of us are acting like a fool.

but now sitting here,typing this

the simmering anger that began to settle

is now starting,once again to sizzle.


"ah fuck it!"i hiss in sighs


with weary eyes i look at the ground

and wish we didnt have those bitches around

but i'll tell you right here right now ,here's the irony of it all;

its that when they quarrel and grow more further

those bitches bring me and my friends closer.

they are sadly and unfortunately provocative in every way

which mean,sadly and unfortunately,they get things done their way.

although i know they only fuck around and seem to cause strife

all i can do,is make them a part of my already chaotic life.

Labels: that's what happened...

kay ppl,ur prolly wondering whats up with all the twisted poetry,yeah uh...i dont do aything but pretend to listen in class so i figured i might as well try some poems.and ey....its pretty dam good.anyway,these weeks are packed with tests and shit,so good luck people.i already failed 2,see how many i can hit this time.well...thats all for now,at least till something interesting happens,like phoebe dying,or smth like that.

goodbye goodbye

i'mma sending u off with a rhyme

hit the books and study hard,

cus with all the tests coming,ur gonna get fucked

oh and i had a physics test today

think i may get a A,yay.

anyway,dont forget to give ur best

for all the damn upcoming test

do ur best and you'll be alright

its time for me to turn off the lights,goodnight.



he is now busy studying,

for the test tomorrow he is dreading

with a pen in his hand,and his mind full of stress

oh please,oh please someone help this boy in distress

in the room that he sits in all alone

that dumb fuck still has his fingers glued to his phone

he took a deep breath and tried to banish all his thoughts,

then took a deep breath and realised all hope is lost.

so instead of studying for the test that is coming

he thought he'd rather go back to gaming.

Hallelujah,i'm the contemperary shakespear!



the innocent boy stared blankly into space

he found himself thinking of her face

a moment passed when he realised he clutched a pen

it then dawned on him that she could only ever be his friend

as his mind wandered through the fun they had in the past weeks

a silent tear crept slowly down his cheeks

he wiped the tears away with a trembling hand

as he realised she could only be his friend

he would trip and he would weep

but he knew he would one day take the leap

he shook his head and cleared his thought

as he held back the silent tears he fought

the boy looked ahead with a plan

because he realised she could only be his friend

the boy writing this and wasting his time,

found this to be a fucking good rhyme