ello,my name is joshua.i carry an ectoplasmic look during class,my friends call it dao-ness.it's actually called a face.if ur grades sux,then we have alot in common. school:tampenis put on diapers at 2/3/1994 wants: a miracle to happen.good grades(who am kidding)

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yo.the weeks been a flurry of activities,thoughts,emotions and yadda yadda yadda.oh btw,no poems this post so u can rest assured i spared u the agony of making ur heart retch.uhh....i cant rmb wad happened on monday.i rmbered i had food poisoning on tuesday,so dint come school on wednesday,although i was already relatively cured by then.received some super belated presents, but super awesome nonetheless,thanks.thurs i was in schl again(yeah u have to put up with my face again,deal with it),which,incidentally was aizans bday to.heck i dint know,so i just decided to give her 16$$ for her 16 birthday.okay this happened for reasons,firstly cus its her bday and i dint get her anything,secondly cus she was crying and i wanted to see her cry more.tears of joy that is.ANYWAY,lucky she rejected my "gift" cus i was planning on saving that 16 bucks.eh its the thought that counts anyway,s'long as she knows i'm sincere can liao.fri,pack here and there,last day in the godforsaken school with only 2 fans in class,so took pictures here and there too.yeah,then uh..lanned aftr schl.and i dont know why,but i had a fucking bad mood today.really pissed.wad made me even more pissed was that i dint know what i'm pissed about.


OKAY!boring parts over,now here comes the MORE boring part.u are about to become smarter,because im about to impart some knowledge about life unto you.and by knowledge about life i dont mean having sex and making babies,no.im just gonna tell u the most meaningful things i have ever heard or thought of.

only one thing about change remains constant.its that it is always painful,and always happening.

add love to any equation,and the boundries between right and wrong are bound to disappear.

forget what you're told,before you become too old.

ur feelings only hurt if you let it.

and lastly,not the most meaningful,but my favourite because it's sure as hell the most fucking true

everyone lies.


yeah,feel enlightened?

ahh....i never thought i'd say this,but i dont like my life right now,its too messy.i mean, i like messy,its less restricting,flexible,you dont have a care in the world,and you can put ur things anywhere and anyway u like them.but when it becomes too messy,you cant find ur things,hell,you dont even know what they are anymore.dont know what to do.fuck.i dont like not knowing what to do.

ohkay,um....here's what's going on in my head.literally,ur about to see whats going on in my mind.all the random thoughts and all..

******"i'm 16 this year.....why dont i fel 16?feel like i'm dreaming.tired.i wanna run later.haisss......FUCK LA!FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!.this is frustrating....*another voice asks,"what is frustrating?"...*i reply,fuck you,i dont FUCKING KNOW!*then...the thing thats running thru my head is...."i wonder what happens if mis idzhana is reading this.does she read blogs anyway?wonder if it'll sour her impression.ah who cares!?i've got more things to wory about.likee figuring out what's making me so frustrated.i wanna read chinese newspaper later,improve my chinese.i've got tuition next friday,as wel as the school soft launch.how?go for which ah?will the school accept parent letter?hmm....i need to put more new songs in my phone.the weather is fucking hot,duno whether later should on air-con anot.should i eat later?what should i even eat?i'm kinda hungry.*cracks all my knuckles and joints,including neck,elbow,knee,toes.i should stop doing that,people say its bad to crack joints.why though?makes me feel good,can release stress.i feel like puching the wall,because i spoke about releasing stress,punching the wall is one good way.yeah.budden,what am i stressed about?i still dont fucking know.its like......i swear i can feel my mind just keep thinking and thinking and thinking.i have no idea why.but at around 2 am in the morning the thinking finally stops,when the lights are all off and my whole family is asleep.duno why either.can just lay in bed and relax.ohkay,now its really fucking hot.i think i'm gonna on the aircon later.i need to start studying,because i feel guilty that i'm not.i'll mess up my future at this rate,just like my bro.i dont want to mess it up.FUCK.but then...do i even have a future?i wanna be a journalist or smth to do with writing and i want to make lotsa money.is it a posible prospect?its not easy to get recognition in those circles.haha,circles,my mind is going around in circles.josh,get a grip,get a fucking grip.*okay okay.sometimes i really like that other voice in my head,it feels like i got someone to talk to.helps me to organise my thoughts to.well,its not reaally another voice.its me.talking to myself in a 3rd person perspective.i'm talking to myself.am i going mad?is this what mad people go through?but then again,if i was mad would i be asking myself this question in the first place?what goes on in mad people's head and minds?do they tell themselves this is just the way they think,that they're not mad?ah,my bloody sister's talking on the phone,noisy as hell.the way she talks on the phone is just so...eee...unnatural.mayb its her boyfriend.but eh,ho would have such weird taste?but mayb she's not that bad looking,mayb its just that i;ve been looking at her face for the past 16 years so im sick of it.i dont know.....i dont even know what i dont know anymore.FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!hais.feeling like the thoughts in my head now is less.....dense.feel a little lighter."******

u see?now imagine all those thoughts,in like a minute.thats alot of things i'm thinking of.eh well.i think i really shall run now.bye.